taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
