went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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