dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
