Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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