I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize