A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
