Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
