i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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