How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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