fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
