I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
cat food counts as protein by the way
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
