Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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