you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
