Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I need a burrito and a hug.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
