nut hugger
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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