Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
