oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
