i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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