you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize