yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
