If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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