woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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