I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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