I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
