i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
