Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
