Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
