she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
