there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
