the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize