we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
