Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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