I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize