We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He did a backflip because drugs
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
