I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
