So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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