So gin and wine won't be happening again
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
