My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
