you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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