SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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