Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
