just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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