Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
