I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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