I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
