I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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