Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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