If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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