tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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