I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
