she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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