what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
