she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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