nut hugger
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
