I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize