I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
