just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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