my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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