Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
