Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
